Sometimes the inside is the coziest, safest place to be. Restoration, relaxation, and oftentimes vulnerability happen-on the inside. Lately my inside has been full of turmoil and fear. It seems like I'm impossible to restore, I don't know how to relax, and I find myself not being truly vulnerable. I dip my toes into vulnerability and I call it "being vulnerable".
Today, I talked to my sister (who is much more wise than me...and I'm thankful for that) and I shared with her my struggles and sometimes I feel like a fake. She said to me, "Our thinking impacts us more than we ever realize." I found that my thinking has begun to spiral me downward, telling me I'm not enough-my creativity is not enough.
In my attempt to move upward, Leslie (my sister) challenged me to go out and get creative, go out and do a photoshoot-she said, anywhere and then blog about it. I chose to start inside, because this little dark apartment has been a difficult place for me because of the lack of light. I long for light, I think we all do. And today, I saw something different-I turned off all of the lights and opened the curtains to see what would come through....light came through. Light was here all the time. I was just too busy, too wrapped up in my own thoughts to truly see it.